Hitching to Nirvana: a novel
by Janet Mason
Hitching to Nirvana is a recently completed mid-life and adolescence coming of age novel by Janet Mason. Excerpts have been published in the Schuylkill Valley Journal of the Arts, and in Drive: women's true stories from the open road Seal Press), The Kirkus Review, and the Exquisite Corpse. The following section of Hitching was published last Spring in Philadelphia Poets. For future excerpts, return to amusejanetmason.com

click here for the first excerpt of Hitching to Nirvana: a novel
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Salt and water

I am Helen, the one who vanished.
I was once a perfect rise of sea. Salt water consumed me.
I left town with Dionysos, the one who was my boyfriend and the other one too.
I floated out on a current of rip tide.
One day I slipped over a side of a smuggling skiff.
What was I to become--corpse or mermaid?
You decide.

I'm Art, the one who opened my hands--
and gave you everything that glittered--Life and Death.
I was both--a girl and Art, too. The hunter, the hunted.
I was everything you feared and more.
Cast away your helmet. Ride the wind with me.

I'm Dana, the one who laughed you into existence--
snakes seethed in my hair and night swallowed me.
I was everything: goddess and girl--
then I was nothing, save a shiny patch of twisted road.
Remember me, I'm the one who gave birth to the world.

I'm Diane. I'm the one who haunts you.
You walked away--now you see me everywhere.
I am the memory that you left behind.
I am the bones that rattle in the light.
Come dance with me. Dance your way to eternity.

I'm Thea, the one whose eyes held the world: spinning, it became me.
Stripped of mother of daughter of myself: I'm the shade of myself.
Three stripped down to one. What became of me?
My bruises are breadcrumbs--trace the way.
Eat the pomegranate seed. Come find me.

I'm Adrianne, the one you thought you left behind.
You left me pinned to the ground - but I was right behind you.
Your nightmares cannot contain me.
There is nothing without me. Come back.
Take my hand. It's the only way.

I'm the one who pulled you from the marsh.
I'm the one who created you from laughter.
I'm the one who shot an arrow through your heart.
I'm the one who remembered your name.
I'm the one who burned into your future.
I'm the one who rose up inside of you.

I'm the one who wrote: See ya in the army.
I'm the one who wrote: Keep cooking (stay high). Good luck always.
I'm the one who wrote: Remember all the good times in study hall &
the bathroom & good luck in the future because you'll need it.

I'm the one whose photograph was a blank space.
I'm the one who didn't make it.
I'm the one who never...
The one who.

Remember Me Always.
Always Remember Me.
Remember Always.
Remember.

I'm self-destruction peeling away from you like an old burn.
I'm an old shell on the beach forever being worn down to sand.
I'm the particle of ground glass that remembers.
I'm the grain of sand irritating your softest parts to a shine.
I'm the echo of each story as it repeats itself forever.
I'm the girl the echo bounced from--
I'm the one who rode the last wave.
The one who went under.
I am the life I invented myself.
I am an old woman on the beach, endlessly searching for what was lost.

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